


The Blood of Patriots and Tyrants

by dragonlover



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: Alternate Universe, American Politics, Gen, Perry!Dean, Set in America and not Austria, no Silas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 11:11:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8530789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonlover/pseuds/dragonlover
Summary: Before Donald Trump assumes the presidency, our favorite vampire family takes over the country. Laura isn't sure about the new regime, but, hey, #NeverTrump.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of a joke idea a fellow Creampuff had: https://twitter.com/creampuff0828/status/796589628870557696
> 
> Opinions of characters do not necessarily reflect those of the author.

"OMG," Laura said, pronouncing each letter. "This is it! This is the most historic event of our lives!"

She smiled around at her friends. They were having a Hillary Clinton party, ready to celebrate Hillary's ascendancy to the role of President of the United States. Laura and Perry decked the place out with banners and posters declaring  _I'm With Her_. Laura even made a sweater with Hillary's campaign logo knitted into the fabric.

"Uh-huh." Carmilla was bored. Hillary Clinton's campaign meant a lot to Laura, but it was less monumental to Carmilla. She had seen a lot of female leaders throughout history. Hell, she'd waltzed with many of them. In the big picture, it was only a small note in the history of women's successes.

Carmilla was less concerned with whether a woman took the presidency as she was with whether the president would be good for the country. While Hillary had charisma and claimed allegiance to the concerns of marginalized peoples, Carmilla wasn't sure she was significantly different from a number of Republicans to run for president. Carmilla was really more of a Jill Stein girl. Still, as long as Trump lost, she supposed she could tolerate another racist female warlord.

She looked at Laura's warm, smiling face. The girl's grin really was infectious. Carmilla had to look away to keep from losing her carefully controlled expression of cynicism.

She turned back to her cup of blood. LaFontaine had very nicely liberated it from stores of blood donations. She was grateful for their effort. However, it still tasted exactly like a mixture of blood from dozens of people, cooled, and then reheated. Bleh.

The humans appeared to enjoy LaFontaine's bowls of popcorn far more. They all snacked on it as they gathered around the TV set, ready to see the announcement of Hillary's landslide victory.

And then came the first disappointment. Florida. Fucking  _Florida_. It had been close, but support for Trump came in just over support for Hillary. Trump  _won_ that state.

That was... unexpectedly shitty of Floridians. Carmilla knew it was a conservative state, but she had hoped that Trump's obvious evil would be enough to make conservatives either abstain from voting altogether or instead vote for Gary Johnson of the Libertarian Party, who embodied more of the classic Republican stance than Donald fucking Trump with his campaign of hate. That way, conservatives could vote their conscience and still let Hillary take the vote. The idea that people could get behind Trump in such numbers was disturbing.

"It's okay, gang," Laura reassured everyone. Her grin started to falter a bit. "It was close even in Florida. I know that more reasonable states will come through for us."

"I'm sure they will," Carmilla said. She placed her hand on Laura's hand and squeezed comfortingly. "You just watch. They'll give Hillary a landslide victory just like you said."

"Hmm, they better..." drawled a familiar voice as black smoke gathered in the room and materialized into Matska, dressed in an elegant blue dress.

"Mattie!" Carmilla exclaimed, delighted to see her sister.

"Heh, heh. Yay, Mattie's here..." Laura was far less thrilled.

Carmilla couldn't blame her reaction after Mattie tried to eat her that one time, but Carmilla had made it clear to Matska that Laura was off-limits, effectively Carmilla's possession as far as vampire ethics went, so Laura was really perfectly safe. Carmilla hoped that spending more time with Matska would help Laura become more comfortable with her.

"Yes!" Matska declared theatrically, spreading her arms wide. "Mattie's here... I couldn't let my dear sister and her... pets... enjoy such a monumental event in American history without me."

"Oh." Perry's eyes were wide, but she nodded. "Well, the more the merrier. I'll get you a chair. Susan, why don-- LaFontaine, why don't you get our new guest some refreshment?"

"Hmm, no need, dear." Mattie wiped her mouth, leaving red streaks on the back of her hand. "I ate on the way."

"Oh." Perry looked like she was about to faint. "That's... good..."

Perry busied herself with getting that chair.

"It's so great that you could come," Laura said politely, if obviously dishonest. Her little heart sped up as Matska focused her attention on her. "I mean... So, you're a Hillary fan?"

Perry set down a chair, and Matska sat down very gracefully, her eyes on Laura. "What can I say? I like a woman with power, a woman who knows what she wants, who will stop at nothing to have it. And, of course, we can't have that cockroach, Trump, calling the shots, can we?"

"Well, that's a very enlightened perspective," Laura said with forced cheeriness. She relaxed the smallest fraction.

Carmilla squeezed Laura's hand. She murmured in her ear, "It's okay. Mattie won't harm any of you. She knows her place."

Matska chuckled, accepting the jab with ease. "It's true. I won't even think to violate Mircalla's boundaries. She claimed all of you as hers, and I respect another woman's property."

"Property?" Laura bristled. Her fear rapidly shifted to anger. "I think a little thing called the 13th Amendment pretty clearly keeps anyone from being anyone's property. Now, I don't know how things work in the vampire world, but this is the United fracking States of fracking America!"

"Guys?" LaFontaine interjected. "I don't want to interrupt the fascinating exploration of the vampire worldview in contrast to the modern human worldview, but have you looked at the screen? Trump's doing surprisingly well."

The women dropped their conversation and stared at the television. The news program had a bar graph to display wins for Hillary vs. wins for Trump. Hillary had a blue bar on the left, Trump had a red bar on the right, and they were both inching their way toward the center. When one reached the center mark, it would mean they won the presidency. Hillary's blue bar was gaining steam, but Trump's red bar was even with it on the other side.

"Oh..." Laura's voice cracked. She whimpered. "Frack..."

"That can't be," Carmilla found herself muttering. "Trump can't possibly be that popular, even in America."

"Could be that third-party candidates like Stein and Johnson stole votes away from Clinton," LaFontaine speculated. "We could be seeing the result of their unexpected popularity in an election where a third party has no chance."

"Add in the gutting of the Voting Rights Act, and you've got a recipe for disaster," Matska said. Her eyes were glued to the screen. "There is no chance that racial minorities would support that racist lout, so the Republicans preemptively kept them from accessing the polls."

"Well, don't worry," Laura forced enthusiasm back into her voice. "Even if it's not a landslide victory, Hillary will win, and then we can all relax."

"I hope so." Matska turned from the screen and flashed Carmilla a flirtatious smile. "If Trump gets elected, this country will hit rock... Well, Mircalla."

"Mattie!" Carmilla's face burned with embarrassment. She supposed this was Matska's way of getting back at her for that comment about Matska knowing her place. She glanced around, trying to figure out how many people understood that.

LaFontaine seemed to get it. They raised their eyebrows at her and Matska. Perry just looked nervously at the screen.

Laura definitely got it. She turned to look at Carmilla, met her eyes, and smiled mischievously. She squeezed Carmilla's hand. "Maybe once Hillary's elected, we'll explore that further," she whispered, giggling.

Matska chuckled, deeply from within her throat.

Well, at least the two of them were getting along. Carmilla became very interested in her crappy blood smoothie. It actually wasn't that bad. It wasn't nearly as bad as paying attention to Laura and Matska right then.

"And now Trump is winning," LaFontaine reported. Their voice was full of worry.

"What?" Laura's voice became increasingly high-pitched. "He's winning?! How could this happen?!"

"It will be okay," Carmilla soothed. She stroked Laura's hair.

Laura ignored her touch. Her mouth hung open, and she made wild gesticulations toward the screen. "Trump is a fascist! A literal fascist!"

"It wouldn't be the first time a technologically advanced, well-read society ignored the wisdom of their forebears and chose the way of hate and violence," Matska said grimly. "Mircalla knows what I mean."

"The Austrian Empire," Carmilla said, remembering. She nodded. "They let the fear of the Ottomans override their sense of justice. It became an oppressive police state."

"But, but..." Laura protested weakly. "It can't happen here..."

"Are you aware that you just literally said the name of a famous satire about it happening here?" LaFontaine asked, raising their eyebrows. "Suffice it to say, yes, it can happen here. People suck everywhere."

"But, this is America," Laura said. She gave an enthusiastic fist-pump. "'Murica! Home of apple pie and freedom and, and, and..."

"Donald Trump," Matska finished. She spat out the name with disdain like it was something filthy in her mouth.

"Donald Trump," Perry agreed, whimpering.

"Oh, frack." Laura watched the red bar grow until it was almost a certainty that the worst would happen and Trump would win.

"They still haven't counted Nevada and Arizona," Carmilla pointed out. "And we know that the west coast will come out blue. There's still a chance we could win."

"There's no chance," Matska ground out. "Don't fool yourself, Mircalla. Humans are the stupid beasts they have always been. They will drive themselves and this planet to ruin."

And with that, Matska transformed into black smoke and left them in their fear.

They stared at the bar graph, hoping that Hillary's bar would catch up. But Trump's bar inched closer and closer to the center mark. And then, with the declaration that Pennsylvania went to Trump, the red bar leaped across the mark. It was done.

It was done.

Donald Trump was elected president.

"That's not right." Carmilla stood up, releasing Laura's hand. "That's not right! How fucking stupid _are_ Americans, anyway?!"

Acting on impulse, Carmilla grabbed the television, ripped it from the wall, and threw it across the apartment to crash against the far wall. The screen shattered. Glass flew across the floor.

Perry shrieked. LaFontaine grabbed her and pulled her down to the floor.

"Carm!" Laura grabbed Carmilla's arms. "Carm! You're scaring our friends! You're scaring  _me_."

"It doesn't matter..." Carmilla took a deep breath and tried to make herself relax. "I'm sorry, Laura. But it  _doesn't_ matter. If Trump is made president, then it will only be a matter of time before the world as we know it comes to an end. We smelled the smoke. We should have been able to predict the fire. Now, it's too late."

"I'll just clean this up," Perry said meekly. Standing up, she retrieved a broom and dustpan, and she started sweeping up the glass. LaFontaine joined her.

Carmilla felt tears press against her eyes, but she forced them to stay inside. She was stronger than this. She wasn't some blubbering ninny.

Laura hugged her. Unlike Carmilla, she did not hold back. Laura very openly sobbed. "It would have been the most historic event in our lives..."

"It still is," LaFontaine interjected. They dumped collected glass shards into a garbage bag. "I mean... I'm sorry. I'll just take this to the dumpster outside."

As soon as they left, a change came over Perry. She straightened like she found an untapped reserve of strength inside her. She cracked her joints and spoke smoothly, her voice filled with confidence, "Why don't you help them, Laura? If you would, I would like some time to speak to Carmilla, woman to woman."

Laura pulled back from her hug. She wiped her eyes on her arm and looked at Carmilla to see what she thought.

Carmilla nodded. Perry's accent had changed. It was familiar now... Carmilla had a hunch about what was going on, and if she was right, it would be better to get Laura safely out of the room.

"Well, all right." Laura looked curiously at Perry before exiting the room and hurrying after LaFontaine.

Carmilla locked the door behind her. She turned and faced Perry. "Hello, Mother."

Lilita smiled through her vessel. "Hello, Mircalla. It appears the humans have properly demonstrated why they cannot be trusted to govern their own fates. When given a choice of leader, they will invariably choose wrongly. Typically, my inclination is to let them hurt themselves as much as their sick little hearts desire. Except, this time, it is not only the humans that will suffer for their actions. The whole planet is in jeopardy today."

"So, what?" Carmilla asked. Her voice was hoarse. "What can a handful of immortals do against the unending stupidity of humankind? Trump is elected. The damage has been made. Even killing him now would accomplish nothing."

"No, merely killing him and then standing back would do nothing," Lilita corrected. "However, if Trump were instead replaced by a better, kinder, shepherd to guide the flock... Why! This country and its people would be turned around in a century or less."

"I assume you mean yourself?" Carmilla raised her eyebrows. "Since when is a wolf the shepherd of sheep?"

"Why, the wolf has always been the very best shepherd." Lilita's eyes sparkled. "It is the wolf who keeps the sheep together, to remove burdens from the flock, to keep them from overgrazing, and above all else, to keep them safe from harm. For no animal has a greater invested interest in the betterment of the prey than the predator who depends on its wellbeing. Even a sentimental creature like yourself knows that compassion is fundamentally rooted in bloodlust. If dear Laura didn't smell  _so_ good, would you have even noticed her?"

Carmilla shifted uncomfortably. She liked to think that Laura's passionate spirit would have drawn her regardless of how she smelled, but it was true that Carmilla's mouth watering in close proximity to her was part of what Carmilla liked about spending time with her. "So, what, you want to replace Trump as president? You think that the American people wouldn't _mind_?"

Lilita grinned. "If they would accept us, would you join me and make America great for once in its pathetic, miserable history?"

"What are you up to?" Carmilla narrowed her eyes. "Glamors only work briefly, and only one at a time. You can't glamor a whole country."

"Let's put aside what I can and cannot accomplish and focus on one simple question." Lilita walked slowly up to Carmilla and looked her dead in the eyes. "Are you in?"

Carmilla swallowed. She didn't like the idea of working for her again. She didn't like the idea of betraying Laura's trust that she wouldn't threaten any humans. On the other hand, she knew Laura was afraid. She would do anything to stop those tears. And Trump could not be allowed the presidency.

Carmilla nodded. "Yes, Mother. I'm in."


End file.
